Confession time. On Thursday, I will have been a Democrat for 90 days. It'll be an important day of decision for me.

On May 23, I switched parties to vote for Adam Cote in the Democratic primary in Maine's 1st Congressional District. Maine law requires me to be a Democrat for 90 days before switching back to my life-long affiliation with the Republican Party.

Cote is an outstanding young man who would have made a very fine congressman. Alas, I jinxed him. He finished a strong second, surprising many observers, but a silver medal in politics doesn't get you into the next race, never mind the U.S. Congress.

When I stepped up to the table at Mount Vernon's polling place on primary day in June, Bruce Inch reached for a Republican ballot, saying, "Well, there's no need to check your enrollment."

"Bruce," I said, "prepare for a shock."

Being a Democrat has been an interesting, if not life-changing, experience. Suddenly, I found it easy to spend other people's money. Tom Allen seemed like a nice guy to me. I wanted to bring the troops home from Iraq. Get more federal aid to pay my gas and oil bills.

It embarrassed me that Maine was 34th in the nation in placing women in important policy-making positions. I developed a real disdain for George Bush. I wrote a newspaper column about beer.

Last week, Linda and I were listed as hosts for an Allen fundraiser, a Bonnie Raitt concert at the charming Merrill Auditorium in Portland's City Hall. When I ordered tickets online, hoping to remain anonymous but eager to hear one of my all-time favorite singers, a sharp-eyed Allen aide quickly took note and e-mailed asking if we would mind being listed as hosts for the event. Well, I am a Democrat. So why not?

Admittedly, the crowd was a little scary -- I was one of only a few wearing a tie (it takes more than a party switch to change my wardrobe) -- but Raitt was astonishing, giving an amazing performance. Allen seemed delighted by our presence. He is a nice guy.

Over the years, I have often observed that many of my Democratic friends are as conservative or more conservative than I am -- great people like state Rep. Steve Hanley of Gardiner and Department of Inland Fisheries and Wildlife Deputy Commissioner Paul Jacques, although they are a minority in today's Maine Democratic Party. It has been fun going to their party for a while.

I even got an invitation to a special reception at the Democratic state convention and several calls from Bill and Hilary Clinton. Love those robo calls! And I got to review all of the voluminous mailings sent by Democratic candidates prior to their primary.

My plan was to return to my roots Thursday at the end of my 90-day sentence, although it is tempting to stick around the Democratic Party a bit longer to make some mischief. Perhaps I could chair Democrats for Charlie Summers, the outstanding Republican candidate and a long-time friend running for the 1st District seat in Congress.

And without doubt, I am disillusioned with Republicans at the national level. My hopes soared when a Republican Congress joined a Republican president in Washington in 2000. But they severely disappointed me, spending money like -- well, like drunken Democrats. They blew their chance and their congressional majority. And they spied on me, an unforgivable sin in this patriot's book. I have come to question the core values of my Grand Old Party.

I think about the strong conservation record of one of my heroes, Republican President Teddy Roosevelt, and wonder how we got so far off track. Roosevelt the trustbuster gives way to Bush who has busted my trust.

But Linda and I are cohosting a fundraiser for Susan Collins soon and I'm not all that comfortable in Democratic clothing. Yet the move back home is not as easy a decision as anticipated.

While there's no chance this column will ever be titled "the native liberal," I am disenchanted with both major political parties and feeling defeated by the continued minority status of my Republican Party here in Maine, especially at the Legislature.

My last successful major foray into serious politics was on behalf of Angus King, an Independent, for which some Republicans still have not forgiven me.

Aug. 21 will come and go and, most likely, I shall remain adrift, still out-of-sight of the political land I can comfortably and confidently call home.

George Smith is executive director of the Sportsman's Alliance of Maine. He lives in Mount Vernon and can be reached at george@samcef.org.