As the president of a public liberal arts college, one of my jobs is to listen.

When a student organized an art project using flag replicas at the University of Maine at Farmington earlier this spring, I listened to voices from all over the world -- there were easily more than 1,000 e-mails, letters and phone calls.

The communications came from students, faculty, and staff at UMF; alumni; veterans; members of the armed forces who are currently serving; parents; concerned citizens and others. I tried to respond to every one.

In late April, we had a campus dialogue about the issues raised by the project, in which the student placed replicas of American flags on the floor of a college building. Some of the questions we explored were:

* What is the role of patriotism in debate about big national issues?

* What does our flag really symbolize?

* Should permissible art exhibits have any limits on campus?

* What do members of the campus community have a right to expect about provocative things they may be confronted with?

* Is politeness the highest value?

* What does "safety" mean -- is it only physical or is it more?

* What does the First Amendment really mean, and are there any limits on free speech at all?

The art project gave us the gift of making these questions alive and urgent, and our students, faculty and staff who engaged in this exchange did so in a respectful and courteous fashion.

Politeness and courtesy really do have a place. They are extremely useful in the social process of argument, which presupposes a common willingness to engage in dialogue in the search for truth.

We didn't agree with one another, and opinions ranged across the whole political spectrum from right to left, but we all learned that every speaker had something important to contribute to the debate. I was proud of everyone who took part.

We plan to have another discussion to celebrate Constitution Day in September, and we'll invite our wider community to participate. There need to be more occasions for constructive dialogue within and across our communities, since the most common model we have these days seems to be talk shows, including political "debates," where people scream at each other instead of conversing.

Screaming is not conducive to listening. Insults and personal attacks make us close our ears and our hearts. We stop listening in self-defense. We cannot accept the gifts that others long to give us.

I found as I listened to people that there is a hunger for true dialogue: Many people were surprised that they received a polite response from me and were eager to keep the exchange going.

I daresay more searching conversations took place at UMF, in classes, in group discussions and in various homes across the state and beyond as a result of this art project.

Isn't this what education is about?

In case you are not able to engage in difficult conversations in person, there is something that you can do, using these very editorial pages with their wide range of political opinions. Just read every single editorial and op-ed column for one week, and try to do it with an open and receptive mind.

Hold your usual labels and presuppositions in suspension, open yourself to the gift of listening, and see if you don't learn something new. Listening is hard, and nobody said this would be easy work, but it is the work I believe we as citizens and members of our communities are called upon to do.

Theodora J. Kalikow is president of the University of Maine at Farmington. She can be reached at kalikow@maine.edu