Here's hoping for some nasty New England weather

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Thirty-four degrees and sunny just doesn't cut it.If it's going to be 34 degrees and sunny when the New England Patriots host the Indianapolis Colts late Sunday afternoon, they might as well play the game in a dome.

In Fargo, N.D., the high temperature on Sunday is forecast to be 11 below zero. Some towns have all the luck.

The Patriots romped to a 14-2 regular season record not just to earn a first-round bye, but also to host a playoff game at Gillette Stadium in January. The last three playoff games the Patriots have hosted in Foxboro have been played in a Nor'easter (vs. Oakland in 2002), bone-numbing cold (vs. Tennessee last season) and more snow (vs. the Colts last season).

Mt. Washington, the highest point in New England, has some of the worst weather in the world. Wind that will pull your hair out. The kind of cold that makes polar bears reach for a sweater. We need that kind of weather on Sunday.

As you probably know, the Colts play in a dome, and the dome is the scourge of professional football. There is nothing to like about a dome, with their fake grass and piped-in sunshine. Playing in a dome is too sanitary. Playing football in a dome is like playing in an operating room.

Around these parts, thirty-four degrees and sunny in January passes for a beautiful day. We don't want a nice day. At least as the snow and rain hit Foxboro all week, the Patriots did the decent thing and left the field uncovered.

You can cry all you want that weather doesn't matter, that both teams have to play in it, but there is a psychological edge for teams from cold-weather cities. The way many people are talking about this game, the Pats need any edge they can get.

There has been more hand-wringing over this game than any playoff game in New England Patriots history. Without Ty Law, the secondary is in shambles. Nobody can cover the Indianapolis receivers. Peyton Manning is too good. Blah blah blah.

We know the Colts are good, and I worry about their offensive firepower, too. What I don't worry about is the Patriots' experience and ability to prepare for any contingency. Remember, this isn't the first time they've played with key players out. They've been doing it all season, and they did it all last season, too. If I recall, that turned out all right.

Still, it would be nice if a storm blew in around 4 p.m. on Sunday and dropped a few feet of snow on Gillette Stadium. Better safe than sorry.

You don't suppose Bob Kraft, the Patriots' owner, could rent a few snow guns from Sugarloaf and coat the field with a nice packed powder base, do you?

We can handle the bad weather. We relish it. I'm reminded of a deep sea fishing trip I took as a kid. The ocean was doing the cha cha the entire day, and by noon, just about everybody on the boat had faced a bout of sickness. Except one guy, who sat in the corner, laughed at the rest of us, and ate a Chunky.

I want it to snow sideways. I want it to be so cold, your breath turns into a popsicle and falls on your foot. I want it to be so cold on Sunday afternoon that the Colts are learning over the side, queasy, while I and 68,000 of my buddies laugh and eat a Chunky.

Travis Lazarczyk Ð 861-9242

tlazarczyk@centralmaine.com